Embrace the positive…

On a daily basis we are surrounded by people that influence our thoughts, feelings and behaviors.  Comments from a friend or family member might trigger us to think differently or possibly have a change of heart.  Conversations overheard in grocery store aisles, the hair dresser or a social gathering might make us think twice about a decision we have to make.  Even the local news reporter or latest celebrity might affect our thoughts and opinions.  But how often do we realize the impact our own thoughts have on our feelings and behavior. 

How many decisions do we make in a day because “we have no choice” or because it is what we should do?  The way in which we talk and think plays a larger role than we may realize in the decisions we make and actions we take.  Thoughts and phrases that begin with “I should…”,  and “I have to…” bring feelings of resentment, frustration, anger, anxiety and lack of control.  We may begin to feel as though our decisions are not our own.  Instead we feel forced to do things that we may not want to do.  These feelings lead to procrastination, low motivation, avoidance, tension and discomfort. 

Take for instance a mother who wakes up on Monday morning and says “I have to do the laundry”.  Already she is beginning her day with a feeling of dread.  She doesn’t want to do the laundry but says to herself that she has to.  The morning goes by and she finds many other things to do besides the laundry, procrastinating, avoiding and down right refusing to do the dreaded laundry. 

What would happen if this same mother wakes up on Monday morning and says “I want to start a load of laundry because I would like to wear my green blouse tomorrow”.  This slight change in phrasing just might bring a sense of purpose and thus a load of laundry is washed.  Ah Ha…Accomplishment!

But what is so powerful in the second scenario as to provoke a change in this woman’s  behavior?  Positive thoughts that begin with “I want to…”,  “I am interested in...” , and  “I am looking forward to...” lead to feelings of freedom, purpose, control, fulfillment and motivation.  Thus we become action-oriented people who accomplish tasks and engage in creative problem solving. We are physically more relaxed and engaged in accomplishing and elaborating behaviors.   

How often do we really use those negative starter phrases mentioned above?  Test yourself.  Spend a day listening to your own words.  Take observation of the phrases you use and the feelings that you experience in relation.  If, like most of us out there, you are spending more time “dreading” the laundry and many other things in your life, there are some simple changes you can make. 

Step 1: Awareness
Before trying to make any changes, simply observe yourself and become aware of how often you use certain phrases.  Take note of your environment and other surrounding factors as well.  You may find yourself using negative phrases more often in your work environment or around certain individuals.   

Step 2: Re-phrase
As you observe yourself, you will become aware of just how often you are using negative phrases.  Each time you note this, repeat the statement using one of the following positive phrase starters instead. 
“I want to…”; “I would like to…”, “I am interested in…”, “I am looking forward to…”, I desire to…”. 

Step 3: Thought stopping
Now that you are aware and have practiced making positive statements, it is time to stop yourself from making negative ones.  As you start to use a negative statement, visualize a large stop sign prompting you to stop, mid-sentence.  Re-state the phrase using a positive phrase starter.

Step 4: State a positive thought
You are becoming a pro.  It will come naturally now to make positive statements.  And as you feel yourself pulled towards a negative thought, you will have the tools to replace it with one that will empower you. 

As  you become more comfortable speaking and thinking with positive language, you will inevitably find yourself energetically accomplishing tasks and taking control of your life,  enjoying it every step of the way. 

Linda M L Bull MS LLP
Child  & Family therapist
Founder & Co-Owner
Mental Fitness Center PC

March Events

Peace of Mind Lecture Series
This series will focus on a holistic and natural approach to well-being.
Lectures held at the MFC are open to the community.
Reservations & prepayment are required 1 week in advance & space is limited so please RSVP as soon as possible.

Empowering Our Girls: Promoting body confidence, healthy eating patterns & media awareness    Sat., March 14th   11am   $10
A lecture for parents of young girls on how to help equip them to handle the societal pressures and develop healthy behaviors and a positive self-image.  Presented by Megan Rotar MA LLP

Surviving the Toddler Years & Beyond    Monday March 23rd 7pm $40 per person or $60 per couple
Be it the terrible 2’s, 3’s 4’s or 5’s, it is never too early to begin to address concerns about your child’s behavior. Learn basic behavior strategies to increase compliance & decrease problem behaviors; Adopt parenting skills to assist your toddler during difficult situations & transitions, while supporting their language & social development; Facilitate the development of self-regulatory behavior, emotional expression, and social problem-solving.  Presented by Linda Bull MS LLP
    
How to Plant the Seeds of Health in Your Child   Wednesday,  March 25th  7pm  $10
Join us to learn: 10 easy ways to keep your child healthy year round, One Easy System for Feeding Your Family REAL food everyday, & Recipes to get you started (including yummy gluten & casein free recipes). Presented by founders of NourishYourKids.com Dr. Sue McCreadie & Angelle Batten, M.A., H.H.C.

Groups / Classes
Please visit our website for additional information on the days and times for the following groups & classes:
 

Surviving the Toddler Years & Beyond    
Facilitated by Linda Bull LLP

Wellness Workshop:
Empowering the Mind with Yoga
Taught by Maureen Kozicki, R.Y.T. of Red Lotus Yoga

Finding My Voice: 
A Group for Adolescent Girls 
Facilitated by Megan Rotar LLP

Relaxation & Guided Imagery
Facilitated by Teri Kolar

Creating Your Life’s Road Map:
A Class on Setting and Achieving Goals
Facilitated by JoAnn Lucido

HypnoBirthing
Facilitated by Janice Weaver
 
To reserve your spot in one of our events, groups, or classes or to make a personal appointment, Or to schedule a speaking engagement on any of these topics for your school,   organization or parent group, Please call (248) 601-3111
 

The MFC is located at 425 Main Street Suite #201 in Downtown Rochester.