School then vs. School now

When my generation was in elementary school we used to hear tales of woe from our parents and teachers. We'd be slack jawed as we heard about nuns with agendas (and sharp rulers), rampant paddling and strict dress codes. Now we pass the torch (and some of the now funny horror stories) to our kids. I've talked to a lot of friends and relatives lately and decided to compile my favorite stories so far. Here's part 1:

My sister was in second grade. That puts us back at about 1976. Because that's in our lifetime, I tend to think that's really not that long ago. Anyway, she was seated with her four classmates in their group of desks and was talking with the others instead of working. A crime? No. But the teacher wasn’t having it. The teacher, without warning, singled her out and decided to punish her for talking by taping her mouth shut with masking tape and making her work like that for a while. Ah yes, a childhood memory she will never forget.

My brother had a gym teacher that he says, to put it nicely, he really disliked. The man was known for degrading the students before they had to perform their phys ed tests. So much for the confidence booster to enhance performance. To give the full story here, I need to let you in on my maiden name. Ferri. No, not Ferrari like the really cool car, we're talking the equivalent pronunciation of Fairy. Yes, it was a bit tough growing up, but it can't compare to how it must have been for my brother. Case in point: One day, the not-so-nice gym teacher needed to call on my brother to take the next PE test and instead of simply calling his name, he felt the need to yell out loud for the whole class to hear, "Hey, Ferri! Why don't you fly on over here!" Enough said.

When my husband was in 5th grade his elementary school had a class recess that somehow went completely unsupervised. The entire 5th grade class at his school congregated near the soccer field. Someone decided it would be a great idea to shimmy up the soccer goal and hang from the crossbar. Eventually there were nearly 20 kids hanging from the crossbar and it finally gave away and collapsed. Miraculously no one was hurt. When he returned to class the entire 5th grade class was summoned to the gym. The normally funny, amiable principal closed the doors to the gym and berated the 5th grade for "a good half-hour" demanding to know whose idea it was to climb the pole. He threatened and swore at the kids the entire time trying to extract info from them like something out of Guantanamo Bay! Nowadays, that school would be facing a lawsuit for the unsupervised recess and the principal would have been fired! Thankfully no one was seriously hurt.

This story is funny. It's even funnier if you knew my husband. Once in 5th grade he was feeling sick and told the teacher he wanted to go home. They sent him to the school secretary who told him to call his mom to see if she could pick him up. He called his mom and there was no answer. The secretary asked if his mom would be home soon and that he could just walk home and wait for her since he only lived 8 houses away from school. It seemed like a bizarre thing to tell a kid but he didn't want to make waves. He walked home and, sure enough, no one was home and he was locked out of the house. He then sat in the driveway in his sister's parked, beat-up '77 Gremlin and waited 2 hours for his mom to come home. His mom finally came home and heard the whole story. She was pretty irate and called the school to see why they sent her sick 10 year-old home. The secretary denied everything and told his mom that she "would never do anything like that" and implied that her son was lying through his teeth. It went like it usually did back then. The mom bought the school's story and her son was punished. Typical.

And now for the grand finale... drum roll please... a friend of ours "claims" (albeit quite strongly) that he had to swim nude in his school's swim class. His reasoning was that back then the schools had metal lockers that rusted from the pool water so school administration just thought it would be better to have the entire class go au natural. I don't think anyone would or could make this up. He's a bit older than us so that makes it more feasible, yet I still can't believe it. And, every time I tell someone this story, I come off as a compulsive liar. But, our friend swears by it. So, if I were handing out prizes here, this one definitely takes first place! Thanks for sharing, Don. I know it must have been difficult.

Other memories include a school closing due to inclement weather, yet we were sent to walk home in a foot of snow; my sister (at a very young age) being sent to walk home alone, only to make a wrong turn and get lost; my husband's classmate being strapped to a chair because he frequently got up to get a drink of water. I know for a fact many local high schools had a designated "smoking terrace" for kids to smoke cigarettes before their next class. I can't imagine that going on at Seaholm or Clarkston High today.

I'm not writing this to make a point about the schools or anything. I don't yearn for the "good old days" or necessarily think that helicopter parenting and lawsuits have made it better now. It's just funny to look back and laugh at how far we've progressed (or regressed).