Are there too many sweets offered in our schools?

I have a daughter with multiple food allergies and she has never been able to eat junk food.  She knows no different and enjoys fruits and vegetables.  My son has dietary restrictions as well, but not as severe as my daughter.  Every day, I need to cook every meal for them.  We can only go out to eat after a great deal of research, and vacations are only possible if we can find accommodations with a kitchen.

Nevertheless, we have adjusted well, but not without challenges. My most recent challenge is two-fold. 

Firstly, because my children have allergies, they sometimes feel like an outsider when there are functions that involve food.  In 99.9% of the situations, the foods that are present are things they cannot eat. 

Secondly, if my son and daughter did not have any allergy issues, I would most likely not want them eating a majority of the foods anyway, because they typically are not the healthiest options.

For example, I volunteered to help out this past Valentine’s Day in both of my children’s classrooms.  My son, a first grader, is on a gluten free/dairy free diet.  The Valentine’s Day party was very difficult for him. Let me first say, I don’t fault the teachers or the volunteers who work so hard to put these events on; most children are not in the same boat as mine, and these are holidays/special occasions that traditionally warrant plenty of sweets.  Additionally, my children’s situations have made me look at things differently, and that is how I came to feel as I do, which may even be viewed as overboard by many. My following thoughts are merely a suggestion, coming from a mom who has been put through the food allergy wringer.

So, back to the party…The traditional Valentine’s Day cards are no longer just a card like when we were kids.  Now, the Valentine’s cards are filled with sweet extras, e.g. suckers, candy hearts, and other treats.  Also at the party was a snack table with many goodies like muffins, and frosted sugar cookies, and a craft station decorating sugar cookies, all of which my son can’t eat.  He was upset and began to cry a couple of times, begging me to let him be like the other kids. Even though there were healthy options at the snack table, he was upset that he could not eat the cookies and muffins with the other kids. After my son’s party was done, I went to my daughter’s Pre-K classroom.  There were treats and take home goody bags.  Some of the moms kindly asked what they could give to my daughter because they knew of her situation. I totally appreciated this, but could not help feeling saddened.  She also had to have her own special plate for the in-school snack.  The teachers did a great job preparing her food, and my daughter has gotten used to this and really enjoyed herself.  But, one day when she gets older, I worry she might be sad when she can’t fully participate like the other kids.

That said, a big part of me feels that it is a learning and socialization experience to have the food there, and I don’t want my kids to spoil the fun for everyone.  I understand that there needs to be some sort of treat at these events. Maybe if the special treat were limited to one piece, where those kids with food issues could substitute the one item with something they could eat. Then, it may not be as big of an issue.  

I know there will be many different viewpoints on this, based on whether or not you have children with dietary restrictions, or you have strong preferences against too much sugar consumption, etc.  

 What do you think?