Computer Safety for Young Techies – Simple tips and advice for how to keep your kids safe online. Consider your home computer policy as well as the computer policies of homes your child may visit for a playdate.
This article is provided for Oakland County Moms by by Tiffany Dziurman Stozicki. Originally posted in April of 2009 and still helpful and relevant after all these years.
OAKLAND COUNTY MOMS FAMILY HEALTH & BEHAVIORAL HEALTH ARTICLES
Computer Safety for Young Techies
When my daughter was a toddler, play dates were great because I stayed near and kept an eye on her. The security of organized play dates was easily taken for granted. All too soon, my daughter started school, made a best friend and asked to play at her house. The first time I let her visit the friend’s home without me, gave me a nervous stomach.
I waited as long as I could; hosting her friend at my house and getting to know the family. Eventually, the visits had to be reciprocated. Fortunately, things went smoothly — my daughter had a good time at her friend’s house.
Several months into this friendship, however, some concerns began bubbling up. My daughter’s young friend (she’s six-years-old) told me of her postings on YouTube.com – videos of her dancing to teen pop music with siblings and friends – and (even though she was just learning to read and write) her visits to an online chat program involving penguin avatars. I was shocked that someone so young knew about YouTube and chat rooms. It suddenly occurred to me that I needed to address a situation that, frankly, I had not considered – What was her family’s computer policy?
In my home, my daughter’s computer use is limited and supervised. We visit certain sites together – online games involving stuffed animals, popular kids cartoon shows and sites that teach reading and spelling. When a friend is over to play, the computer is not part of the fun. Kids have so many other things to do together – toys, board games, dress-up and make-believe – that computer games just do not seem to fit in.
Questions popped into my head about my daughter’s playtime at her friend’s house. Was she visiting penguin chat rooms? (Yes, I found out – once.) Had she been recorded dancing to pop music? (Thankfully, no.) It is my opinion that videos of little girls dancing around their living room should not be posted online for everyone to see. It is an unfortunate thing in this day-and-age to have to think about the worst possible scenarios resulting from seemingly innocent online videos of our children. The fact is, however, that those videos are there for everyone around the world to see unless privacy controls are in place – and usually they are not. It does not take much to get the attention of some online and child predators.
I thought about how to approach the subject with the friend’s mother. After talking with other parents, I learned an invaluable lesson. When leaving your child to play at a friend’s home, treat the computer as you would guns and ask the family to explain their policy for both. Few things have ever created such vivid imagery for me. I immediately told the other mom how I felt about computer usage and requested that computers not be part of the fun while my daughter was at her house. We had a pleasant conversation and, fortunately, she agreed that computers would no longer be part of playtime at her house.
Admittedly, I felt foolish for not asking these questions from the start. But of course, parenting is on-the-job training mixed with experience and education. Every stage of a child’s development brings new rules, new challenges and a new perspective on parenting and the world around us.
I will never get used to leaving my child at another family’s home – no matter how well I know them. I know, too, that no one can control another family’s household. I can, however, reaffirm the rules of mine. With love and guidance, household rules and family values can follow a child everywhere and help him/her make good decisions when mom and dad are not around.
Some Thoughts about Posting Videos on YouTube.com & Other Sites
If you must post videos of your children online, consider using the privacy settings offered on many of these sites. The privacy setting allows you to control who watches videos of your children by sharing the video only with friends and family who login with a password. For YouTube.com postings, click on Safety Resources at the bottom of the page for information about privacy settings.
Remind your older children that anything posted online (videos, pictures, texts, etc) can and will follow them for the rest of their lives. Those postings can be downloaded and sent to others. Whatever they post can spread to anyone in the world faster than they can imagine. Online posting of images and other information about themselves can affect their future – potential employers, college officials and others can and will search for information about job candidates, prospective students, etc.
Posting videos of yourself, friends and family can be fun. But you never know who will find and watch the videos. Make sure your postings do not contain anything in them that could help a stranger figure out who you are or where you and your children live. Watch out for things like license plate numbers or images inside and outside your home that can appear in the background of a video and help a stranger track you down.
Be considerate, too, when recording your child’s recital or game. Posting a video online that includes other people’s children is a violation of their privacy.
Computer Safety for Young Techies Tips
- Create a computer policy for your family and start the conversation about computer and Internet safety with your kids. Experts say to start the conversation with kids as early as 4 and 5 years of age
- Ask for the household computer policy for each of your children’s friends
- Share your policy with your children’s friends and their families
- Install parental controls on your computer
- Monitor your children’s computer use no matter their age or school grade
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